Irish Ballads - I smell a rat

I joined in with the locals from Sallins on Saturday as they sang ' The Boys of Sallins' at the end of the night. A typical Irish ballad about killing Englishmen and saving the land. A good night was had by all and a visit to the chipper next door topped it off.

Then when I was in a pub in Edenderry they had a song called 'The Boys of Edenderry' with the same words although the last line was 'And we marched as victors back to Edenderry' rather than Sallins. Hmm. I said nothing though. They looked rather a rough lot and had funny accents.

However when 'The Boys of Tullamore' kicked off the next night and it was the same song and air I started to smell a rat. As it happens it was only my hiking socks but you know what I mean. I put it to a local historian who went by the name of Houlihane. He said that those bastards from Edenderry and Sallins had robbed their ballad but I shouldn't be surprised given that they were all a shower of feckers etc etc. With that half the pub headed off with pikes and hooks and the like in the direction of Edenderry. You may have read about it in the papers.

Despite the fracas i wasn't sorry that I raised the issue. After all, the only thing that separates us from the animals is our sense of dignity (and perhaps the fact that we floss a bit more, excepting certain chimps).

Overall

1. Crunchies cost €1.15. Wow.

2. Easy to walk, good trail, flat as, certain degree of sameness.

3. No other backpacker spotted, disappointing.

4. I would have a couple of mild comments that Waterways Ireland might consider. Firstly, very few, arguably, no seats on the routes. Secondly, no accomodation info at road/lock intersections. Thirdly , do they not know about the popularity of looped walks in Europe, never mind the average spend of walkers. Fourthly, these bogs, our bogs, are unique and wonderful, tell the World. Bog heritage centre on route, let them cut turf with those great tools. Cue some great Con Houlihane articles.

5. Use of canals by boaters way down, per locals at key spots. Not good. Some imagination and energy needed.

6.15 years to get through Bog of Allen back in the day.

7. Logistics of digging the canal, what engineering endurance, no diggers in those days.

8. Sallins, too many takeaways, two very decent restaurants facing canal though, in my opinion, Lock 13, with its unique fish and chips, and smaller,though excellent, Canal Lock.

9. Robertstown: Could do better.

10. Allenstown: As above.

11. Edenderry: As above.Disadvantged by 1.5 kms off canal though.

12. Daingean: V. Good. Obvious community spirit.

13. Tullamore: I liked it. Some great pubs.

13.a Pullagh (?) should step up, there is no other place between Tullamore and the end at Shannon Harbour and thats circa 35kms, too far to walk without a bowl of soup.

14. Shannon Harbour: jury still out.

15. I looked at the accounts of Waterways Ireland, should be doing better.

Overall, loads of potential, as yet not realised, one dedicated person with energy would make big impact on a limited budget. The trail itself is perfect.

Good luck Nicola

Found a bar in Shannon Harbour where food was a tad short. I was looking a bit wet so she got on phone and someone dropped in a loaf and i got my toasty. And a nice cup of tea. Now that's service.

She was telling me that 14 members of the Belmont (An Lios Dearg) hurling team, 5 miles up the road, had emigrated to Perth and that's where was off to in three days. For a year she says. As it happens she was from Cork. So.....

Cue Doors Lyric

Got to Shannon Harbour today but no final photo proof due to battery issue. Also, no accomodation there as lady just out of hospital. When i called up she told me this. I said to her that i didnt care if she just got the last rites; she was leaving me down, Ireland down, and that butterfly that's causing all the commotion on the weather far east way. And that was just the nice part of the conversation. Her point was that i hadnt booked anything and she had never heard of me before which I felt was neither here nor there. I'll be taking this further. Anyway, im into Athlone tonight.

Regretably I have decided not to walk back to Dublin on the Royal Canal as was the original plan. Loads of reasons but really I think I'm canaled out and just couldn't be bothered. There is no one around so tis a tad quiet. The picture below is rather typical. Also some of the feedback on this blog has been a tad harsh and somewhat unkind.

I'n inclined to finish with an oft quoted proverb from the Bushmen of Namibia in their click language, and Im sorry if my translation is a bit rusty. It says ' When one dies, one cant. When one lives, yes". Need I say more......

Down Up

Connecting two bogs along the way there is an old drawbridge as per photos below. Apparently 4 trains cross every day carrying peat to Edenderry Power Station, each train with16 wagons ( and 3 ok looking ones). There are rules on these things.

The drawbridge has been there since early 70s. He raised it just for me. Fair play.

The guy told me that the canal has gone very quiet on recent years, a fact that I can attest. I have only seen two vessels, no barges, actually moving on the canal. Seems a shame really. Apparently insurance costs have sky rocketed. We really should do something about these costs.

People (and dogs) that you meet

Met Caoimhe and her owner, met the fishermen who catch and release (pike mainly) but who told me the 'foreners' dont throw back, met a shop assistant who received a hefty slap on the backside in front of me, what a laff. As she smilingly said herself, "neighbours, what are they like?" I think the question was rhetorical, but unsure of myself, I mumbled an 'indeed' back. Interestingly enough the main ad near the cash register was a plea to punters to buy their mice poison early. Good advice.

Picture of Caoimhe below, age 8 months. Apparently you can't properly exercise an Irish Wolfhound until they are 18 months old as their limbs are not fully formed. There is actually a home for disabled wolfhounds north of Birr which rehabs these dogs. If rehab doesnt work they are sent to Cambodia to search for unexploded mines and to eat rogue shitzus.

Most Impressive

I meet two guys running on the other side of the canal yesterday. Turns out they were on their 5th consecutive marathon in the last 5 days having started in Salthill and finishing in Sandymount.

And they are due to run their 6th consecutive marathon today in the big one. Crazy stuff.

Swan Problems - Not Guilty

I want to dispel a scurillous charge that I stopped walking, not because of the weather, but because I interfered with two swans (allegedly). While the matter is sub judice so I am somewhat limited in what I can say, I have made some points below that I trust will show you that I am an innocent man.

What happened was that I was pretty certain that the same two swans were following me so to prove it I threw some organic ink over one of the swans. Fear not, it washes off after a few years but unfortunately the other swan disappeared soon after and that inked swan is now on its own. In light of this I inked another swan in the hope that the two inked ones would hook up. Anyway, the gardai, and in particular, a certain Detective who shall remain nameless (rhymes with smurf, ish) have fingered me for the missing swan.

The whole episode is very unsatisfactory and I still dont know which swans were following me. Ive asked the bird people for a radio tracker but instead they sent a guy to walk with me who I suspect is wearing a wire. Quite frankly, I'm at my wits end with all this police harassment. Nor do I have any idea how those feathers made got into my backpack.

All this reminds me of an old Navajo indian saying - excuse my translation- "Following the beak of a long necked bird will mostly work, depending also on the bird".

Logistics

Grand Canal

Day 1 : GC to Sallins (20kms)
Day 2 : Sallins to Edenderry (33kms)
Day 3: Edenderry to Tullamore (35kms)
Day 4: Tullamore to Shannon Harbour (30kms)

Royal Canal

Day 5: Abbeyshrule to Mullingar (20kms)
Day 6: Mullingar to Hill of Down (20kms)
Day 7: Hill of Down to Maynooth (20kms)
Day 8: Maynooth to GC (15kms)

The Sonny Crockett Canal connection

So, when things went bad for Sonny and MG gave him the flick over the white powder he decided to invest in a property deal in Robertstown. Unfortunately it went bad and he is now in Nama, working undercover trying to pay off his debts. I was speaking with a man who seemed sure of his facts. And there is the planning application.....see below.

Plus some stuff photos of an educational interest. It's all good, especially seeing JCBs were only put into use in the early 1800s so digging the canals must have been tricky enough.

Token Canal Photos

I got tons in the good light today but ill just put up three.

Current History

Perspective

As the rain continues to pelt against the window I felt really sorry for myself this morning, day 3. Then i thought, who am I to whine about blisters when Young Wi Yan is out there with elbows blown off by a land mine, his arms held together using the gut of a cat sacrificed specially for the purpose. Or Pat Jo Murphy with no head - kept alive with the aid of the internet; you don't hear him complain about the dew on the ground. Not forgetting Jesus Fernandez de la Montoya who carelessly lost all four limbs during the Siege of Asuncion back in 2007 following an on/off misunderstanding.

These people are the ones with real problems, and mine pale in comparison. Mind you, who's not to say that they wouldn't complain if they could still speak but none the less my point is still valid.

I suddenly felt very ashamed. I vowed to be a better person and, more importantly, a better human being. Otherwise what separates us from the animals? Outside the fact that we can talk and they cant, and we have guns and abatoirs and they don't?

History of Grand Canal

Ancient lore has it that when Cu Cuchlainn (nickname Cucu) rested his giant sword on the ground during his battle with the boy Fionn McCool it created a huge imprint in the ground. This was soon flooded with blood from the battle and over time this became the Grand Canal. 

The background to the battle was that Fionn's moth, Grainne had stolen some fish from a local monger who went by the name Obitoo and this apparently put out a lot of people. Cucu and his trusty dog, Santa, got caught up in the whole sorry incident, one thing led to another and the result was a canal and a lot of wailing. The fish in question was eventually returned to the monger by Santa in a half eaten condition. The dog went on to become Prime Minister in ye old land called Eire and ruled wisely over his serfs until his unfortunate demise following an altercation with a death star and a young gogo dancer called Hermine. 

At least that's what the guy at the lock told me and he seemed pretty confident of his facts. 

Off I go

Hello there

Hi folks. Never done a blog before but thought it might be educational to let you know what's happening on the Irish Canals.

Firstly, I brushed my teeth. I favour a medium bristle type toothbrush, less bloody than the hard type and more effective than the soft type. Given the possibility of blood I would tend to go with a reddish coloured brush which can be picked up in any reputable pharmacist or pound shop. Either way, there will always be some degree of dribbling. Then I'll have breakfast. Again, more choices. Yogurt or rashers? I could go on but you get the drift. Riveting stuff.

One question I have about this whole blog thing is wgaf ? Anyhow, it wont kill me to write a few lines every day trying to make myself look cool.

I promise you one thing. I will not try and be witty or engaging or empathetic. And I will search for the truth wherever that may lead. Because truth is what separates us from the animals. Truth and the humanity, and perhaps some of the animals have sharper teeth and tend not to be as religious.

Folk On The Canal : Grangecastle to Sallins

You meet all sorts. I met David Bradley (inventor of ctr, alt, del) and Kelly Stone, sister of Sharon. She took a real shine to me. We discussed pure randomness and the fact that the shuffle function on ipods was made less random because pure randomness was throwing up undesirable results such as three u2 songs in a row. 'Twas all very interesting.

Also met a guy who talked at length about the resurgence of buzzards in Ireland and wasnt that great. I also passed by Arthur Guinness's grave; some dispute the facts that it is indeed his grave but for me it was black and white, oh my sides.

Stopped into Tony Ryans old gaff, Lyons. Nice spot but they didnt like the look of me and moved me on. Rich land around here, saw my first private putting green and bunker also.

M14-Mayfield

First post from that rest station on the M7. Did they really have to call it Mayfield and confuse all the Cork people (even further).

On road at 730, beautiful morn, sun rising over the Vee on the right and the Galtees on the left, and music blaring and me singing along. All good.Im glad I listened to that girl's suggestion about buying a new radio rather than a new car. Much cheaper. Surprised i didnt think of it myself.

My bitterness at those two guys who encouraged me to do this blog (in order to mock me) continues to fester. Like, these are the guys who cant even figure out why that wind powered car seems to do speeds faster than the wind. Who are these people. Why do I even listen to them? Post grads, yeah right. No wonder the company is struggling. Still, we all have our crosses I guess.

Anyway, I promise Ill start writing about the actual canals at some point but you can understand my animus Im sure. I am however consoled somewhat by an old Aborigne saying, loosely translated, "Never look at the sun without the feathers of an eagle to soar upon'. Truly inspirational.

Grand Canal - GrangeCastle to Shannon Harbour